Today is Friday, and on Fridays, I like to share some humor, and delve into the lighter side of Mexico and life here. I have done some of these in the past and they have become quite popular. I did one on “How to Piss off a Mexican”, and it gets read everyday. In fact I am always getting Google searches on how to “Piss off a Mayan”, and different things like that. I get a lot of these articles from the Matador Network which deals with living abroad and in Mexico.

Iphone from Xcalak Dec 2013 to Playa May 2014 048



MARCH 2, 2015


1. A Mexican doesn’t “humor you”…“he gives you a plane” (te da el avión).

2. A Mexican doesn’t “make fun of you”…he “snacks” on you (te botanea) or he “grabs you while you’re going down” (te agarra de bajada).

3. A Mexican doesn’t “flirt with you”…he “throws you the dog” (te tira el perro).

4. A Mexican doesn’t “ignore you”…he “does as if the virgin’s speaking to him” (hace como que la virgen le habla).

5. A Mexican doesn’t “beat about the bush”…he “loves doing it the sucky sucky way” (le encanta hacerle a la mamada).

6. A Mexican doesn’t have “sexual intercourse in the morning”…he throws “the morning one” (se avienta el mañanero).

7. A Mexican isn’t “hungover”…he “has a raw one of the you’re gonna cry type” (tiene una cruda marca llorarás).

8. A Mexican doesn’t get confused…he “turns himself into balls” (se hace bolas).

9. A Mexican doesn’t “get drunk”…he goes “fart, blurry, chachalaco, all the way up to his little hands” (se pone pedo, borroso, chachalaco, hasta las manitas pues).

10. A Mexican isn’t “in a hurry”…he “goes into a motherly transformation” (va vuelto madre).

11. A Mexican doesn’t “get mad”…he “turns into the big goat” (se encabrona).

12. A Mexican doesn’t “get scared or surprised”…he “gets himself out of the fart” (se saca de pedo).

13. A Mexican doesn’t “wait for a miracle”…he goes “to dance to Chalma” (se va a bailar a Chalma).

14. A Mexican doesn’t “nearly fail”…he “makes it on his belly” (pasa de panzazo).

15. A Mexican doesn’t “kill time”…he’s “poking his eyes” (está picándose los ojos).

16. A Mexican doesn’t “plan ahead”…he “measures the water for the sweet potatoes” (le mide el agua a los camotes).

17. A Mexican doesn’t “cheat on you”…he “rides another bicycle.”

18. A Mexican doesn’t “ask for permission”…he “asks for chance” (And that last ‘e’ is not silent).

19. A Mexican doesn’t “fund raise”…he “builds a cow” (arma la vaca).

20. A Mexican doesn’t have “complete certainty about something”…his “mothers fall over him” (le cae de madres).

21. A Mexican doesn’t “improvise”…he “throws himself over like El Borras” (se avienta como Guillermo Rivas).

22. A Mexican doesn’t drink “mineral water”…he drinks “Tehuacán” (yes, that’s the name of a town in Puebla).

23. A Mexican doesn’t “get lost in his own thoughts”…he’s “thinking about the crab’s immortality.”

24. A Mexican doesn’t “get distracted”…he “goes slobbing or doing like a papalote” (anda baboseando o papaloteando).

25. A Mexican doesn’t “dress up”…he “puts on some nice pipiris.” (se pone pipiris nice).

26. A Mexican is not “lazy”…he “has a hard roe that’s just too much” (tiene una hueva que no puede con ella).

27. A Mexican doesn’t “mix”…he “campechanea.”

28. A Mexican doesn’t “lend you some money”…he “loosens you some varo” (te afloja un varo).

29. A Mexican isn’t “careless”…he does things “the pushing way” (hace las cosas al aventón).

30. A Mexican doesn’t “ask for favors”…he “asks for strikes” (pide paros).

31. A Mexican doesn’t “make a scene”…he “makes a Pancho” (hace un Pancho).

32. A Mexican isn’t “untidy”…he is “fodongo.”

33. A Mexican isn’t a “bully”…he’s a “gandalla.”

34. A Mexican doesn’t punch you…he “unleashes a big momma on you” (te suelta un madrazo).

35. A Mexican doesn’t “take a nap”..he “goes into a little eyelash or into a baby coyote” (se echa una pestañita o un coyotito).

36. A mexican isn’t “having a bad time”… his “train is carrying him” (and he probably has no idea where he’s gonna get down).

37. A Mexican doesn’t “take advantage of you”…he “eats your groceries” (te come el mandado).

38. A Mexican isn’t “unbearable”…he “bleeds copiously” (es bien sangrón).

39. A Mexican doesn’t “share”…he “wears Puebla F.C.’s jersey” (se pone la del Puebla).

40. A Mexican doesn’t “fail”…he “explodes like a green bean” (truena como ejote).

41. A Mexican doesn’t “make up stories”…he “throws a mussel at you” (te avienta un choro).

42. A Mexican doesn’t “avoid responsibilities”…he “makes it mother worthy” (le vale madre).

43. A Mexican doesn’t “receive an allowance”…he “gets his Sunday” (just on Sundays though).

44. A Mexican doesn’t “hit you where it hurts”…he “hits you in the tower or, if available, in your mother” (te da en la torre o en tu madre).

45. And a Mexican doesn’t just “die”…he “sucks lighthouses” (chupa faros).

Thanks for reading,

Stewart Rogers USA-South Carolina


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