Today some humor. It is Saturday and the beaches and hotels are filling up here because school is out in Mexico. All the hotels here are booked solid with Mexican Nationals on summer break. Every weekend from now until the middle of August, all the hotels in Mahahual are full.
Today I am going to go hang out on the beach and watch some tourists, and have lunch. So here is an article I got in an email from the Matador Network, I am sharing today in honor of Mexico’s summer vacation starting.
1. You’re highly trained in the art ofgarrafón lifting.
Next time you open the tap to get a glass of water, Think About That is how easy maneuvering Compared to a twenty-liter water bottle.
2. Even if you’re a self-proclaimed anarchist …
You respect the maximum authority in Mexico … and that’s your mom .
3. You have payed to receive electric shocks.
“Touches, touches touches.”
4. You’ve Been Told to fear the “evil eye”.
But you know That Such evils have nothing to do Against the ultimate powers of a red thread. The same infamous red thread That cures hiccups, indigestion, and Protects your unborn child.
5. But you know That even the red thread can not save us from our greatest fear …
Watching Selection rounds being eliminated in penalty kick … again.
6. Where everyone else … you see people Sees dudes .
7. You do not Have The Least thought how corn on the cob tastes like …
Because you always eat it in Its street stall presentation: full of mayonnaise, lime, chili, cheese, salt, and more chili (the spicy one please).
8. You have your share of photos dancing at a quinceañera party.
Maybe as a guest, maybe as a chamberlain, or maybe as the quinceanera herself. No matter what, you fear the Day When photos of That Day will start showing up on Facebook … and That day will come.
9. Your speech is overcrowded with words finishing in “ito” or “ita”.
Yes, your use of diminutives is way higher than average.Momentito, please.
10. You never use your oven.
And you Have Always Wondered Where Does People Who whos Their use ovens Keep Their whole kitchenware.
11. You have slept Several times under the comfort of a San Marcos blanket.
Yes, the one with a family of lions Portrayed on it.
12. Love it or hate it …
But you Have Seen Several Pedro Infante movies and can even quote some of His characters. “Amorcito heart, I have temptation to kiss …”
13. Where the rest of the world Mayans and Aztecs Sees …
You see Mixtecs, Zapotecs, Tzotzils, Mazatecs, Huichol, Olmecs, Otomis, Totonacs, Purepechas … and you prefer rather than the name Mexica Aztecs.
14. You know your tortillas …
You can Clearly distinguish Between freshly made and the pre-packed, you know there’s a difference in taste Between blue corn and regular corn, you Also Know That Both Sides of the omelette are completely different, and Have Learned to leave the top omelet as natural Maintaining heat device.Oh yes, there’s science behind tortillas.
15. It does not matter how long and far you Have Traveled across Mexico …
It’s quite likely that you ‘ve never ventured past the Guatemalan border.
16. You know there’s nothing better for a cold morning outside …
Than Having a cup of atole or coffee pot.
17. You’ve been forced to clean beans or rice at Least once …
And you know there’s something strangely soothing about it.
18. You were raised on watery soup.
And even though every variety tastes exactly the same, you had a favorite Among noodles, ammo, stars, and letters.
19. You know there’s a difference … Between Mexico and Mexico.
This is quite confusing for foreigners Who are visiting Mexico for the first time. Mexicans refer to Mexico City normally simply as Mexico, so it’s possible to be in Mexico and take a bus that’s headed to Mexico. Want to complicate things a little further? There’s Also a state called Mexico in the Central part of the country … and no, it’s not the same as Mexico City.
20. You know at Least five types ofchilies by name …
And you Clearly distinguish Their flavors too.
21. Your horizons are made of mountains.
Mexico has more mountain ranges than chili varieties.Wherever you look you’re gonna be some big ass Confronted by mountains With some more big ass mountains behind … UNLESS you live in the Yucatan peninsula, Which is flat as a pancake.
22. You know the best hangover foods in the world …
Chilaquiles, tummy, rubbish, consomme and every single kind of sauce covered eggs. If That does not help … Have you always the option michelada.
23. You know the National Anthem by heart …
But Also the Noa Noa … Juanga is the shit!
Thanks for reading,
Stewart Rogers USA-South Carolina