10 THINGS MEXICANS SAY THAT YOU CAN’T EVER BELIEVE
Please never believe us when we tell you “this salsista is not spicy at all, it’s bien suavecita”. You should rather expect your mouth to burn for at least 20 minutes, while your ears buzz and you feel you are travelling at a speed of 1000 km/hour. Everything is spicy in Mexico!
“I’ll start dieting on Monday.”
Yes, of course, the famous Vitamin T diet. Tacos, tamales, tortas, tlacoyos, totopos, tostadas…
This is the biggest proof of our original perception of time. “Ahorita”, which literally means right now, should be interpreted as “within two hours”, “in two days” or “I have my purest intention to do it, I really would love to, but I’m not sure I will be able to…”
“I’m on my way!”
This actually means: “I just woke up and I’m on my way to take a shower, I’m almost there, ahorita…”
“I was late because of traffic.”
Please don’t ever believe this, especially if it comes from a chilango (a Mexico City local). Yes, the traffic in DF can be apocalyptical, but if we all know this and it’s the same every single day of the year, why don’t just plan every ride considering the tremendous amount of traffic? Hmmm ….
“Mi vieja no me pega…”
Well, any explanation of your significant other breaks your balls or not would be too embarrassing to state …
“Good evening, I’m going home!”
We Mexicans are well known for beating all the international records when it comes to the time spent saying goodbye, which is measured counting the time passed since we first say buenas noches till the time we actually leave the place.
“One last chela and we’ll go.”
Our “last chela” might cost you another five hours of drinking an epic pedota…
“Let’s grab a coffee soon.”
That “soon” means “ahorita”…
“I’m still married, but I’m divorcing…”
Well, you should never believe this, regardless of where the man who is saying it comes from…