This is the favorite superpower of hungry party animals. It allows us to close our eyes and see the way to the closest open taquería. Who needs foursquare?
2. Time stretch
If a Mexican told you they would arrive “in five minutes”, and they took one hour… they didn’t lie! They were using this power!
3. Sonic scream
Most used by peddlers and Mothers, now and then this superpower becomes handy in every Mexican’s life, for example when we need help in the bathroom because we’ve run out of either: water or toilet paper.
Day of the Dead is just a pretexto, we actually talk to our dead loved ones all year long. We know what they want to tell us with signals that probably only mean something to our relatives and ourselves. Thanks to my Mom, every time I see a hummingbird, I assume it’s my Grandfather and I wave at him… #awkward
This special ability is why most Mexican dishes have some transformation of corn tortillas, and still, they are all unique and delicious.
6. Super speed
Yes, sometimes we run a little late, but think about it: due to all the last-minute things we have to get done in such a short amount of time, without this superpower we would arrive a whole lot later than we do!
7. Environmental coloring
We can’t help but use this super ability in our clothing, cooking, language… everything! That’s why it doesn’t matter where you go, when you travel around Mexico your memories are colorfully painted, even on the cloudiest of days.
8. Anti-bacterial shield
It’s the protective layer that covers every Mexican’s skin. That’s why we have no hesitations about kissing people hello we’ve only just met. Apapachos everywhere!
9. Stomach immunity
Nature knows we really needed this one to survive.
This is why people from other nationalities have such a hard time catching albures. C’mon, how could they do it without this power?
11. Shrink ray
We can reduce the size of ANYTHING, as impossible as it seems. Even if it’s something that doesn’t have a physical size: “El pozolito está calientito, ¡cómetelo rapidito!“.
12. Thermal resistance
Most of us use this power to flip tortillas using our fingers … some use it to badass-ily put their hand in boiling oil.
13. Instant stranger empathy
It’s difficult to use this power outside of Mexico because it only works when everyone in question has it. Therefore, it is very common to see crowds of Mexicans who barely know each other commenting on a local event (…it’s different than gossiping!). It doesn’t matter if you are at the grocery store, the beauty salon, at a public transport stop, or anywhere else… it’s always güiri-güiri chitchat with the Mexicans!
Thanks for reading,
Stewart Rogers USA-South Carolina